Happy December!

It's time for another rant.  Two this time!  Aren't you excited?  I know I am.

First off, Work.

Dear Drive Thru Customers,

I sentence you to spend eternity cleaning up cat puke with your hands tied behind your back.  Why?  Heres' a few reasons.

1.  You come through in a car whose windows do not roll down, causing you to have to open your door to hand me the money. 

2. You order one thing, then when you come to the window, either because you don't have enough money, or you just felt like being a dick, you completely change your order.

3. Or you order a shitload of food, I read it back to you, and you say it's right, then you come back later saying I got everything wrong.

4.  You leave your money on the ledge.  If you don't want to hold your hand out the window for a few moments while I take another order, hold your stupid money in your stupid lap.  Every time someone lays money on the ledge, I hope with all my heart that a huge gush of wind will blow it away. Bastards.

5. You don't pull up close enough and expect me to practically climb out of the window and get your money and give you your food.  Fuck no.  You're in a nice warm car, and I've been standing next to an open window for 6 hours.  Fuck you.

6. You sit and talk on the phone to your mother at the speaker for a full 8 minutes before you order.  And we hear your entire conversation.  I don't care about the new fucking TV your wife decided to buy you.  I care about taking your order, so the next bastard can drive up.

7. You ask how much a single item off the menu is, when the stupid menu is right in front of your face.

8. You ask for condiments and such after I give you your bag.

9. I give you your 48 drinks and you say "Ooops, I wanted these with no ice."

10.  You order something else when you get to the window.

11.  You say you want the Chicken Crisp sandwich, but when you get to the window, furious that you were charged 3 something for a damn Spicy Chicken Crisp, you get pissy with me because I can't read your fucking mind to make sure you wanted the Spicy one!  SPECIFY WHICH FUCKING SANDWICH YOU WANT BY GIVING its FULL NAME! 

Now don't get me wrong, I like working Drive Thru.  I just don't like it when the memo goes out that today is Asshole Day, and I don't get one.  There are some nice people though, like the old man who gave me a dollar for my trouble for adding something to his order, or the lady who came through two days in a row when I was sick and asked me if I was feeling any better the second day, or the very few people who are nice, polite, tell me to have a nice day, and compliment my jewelry or hair.  There's maybe one of those people every day. 

Now on to School.

Dear various teachers and students,

I sentence those of you who I refer to in this rant to 30 lifetimes as a big tattooed muscly prison guy's bitch.

1. Our Annual Staff person is the worst possible choice ever.  He doesn't know the first thing about computers.  And guess what?  All our work is done on computers!  We had a problem today that we were trying to explain to him.  We tried 8 times to get him on the same page we were.  And he still didn't get it.  He also fusses at us for not selling ads.  Is it our fault that nobody wants to buy them?  It's not like we go up to businesses and say "You can either buy an ad for my yearbook, or, you can have a piece of this delicious cake!"  They'd always pick the cake.  People hate our school.  They don't want our business.  They want cake!

2.  Pre-Calculus.  Yunno when you first get to class, the tardy bell hasn't even rung, and you're sitting there shooting the shit with your buddies?  Yeah, well to the pre cal teacher, the instant you sit your happy ass down is the instant you get your book open and work.  Every day, when the last person is seated, she'll say "Okay, my class should know what they're doing."  Like there are 4 other classes going on in the same room.  Then, once we do start working, she'll gaze around her kingdom, scanning for a question mark to roll out of someone's mouth, then will sneak up on you and  say "What's the issue here?"  "What's the question?"  Oh, I was just asking Brittany if she wanted to participate in a drug induced orgy with a bunch of STD carrying homeless people.  Care to join?  Also, who has ever heard of a take home exam?  She said it took her about an hour to come up with.  So it would probably take us 10 hours to do.  Excuse me, but I don't want to spend 10 hours a month doing difficult math problems, much less the same amount in two weeks.

3. At lunch, there are 7 round tables, and 3 long tables.  Apparently, someone came up with this rule that there can only be 8 people to a table.  God forbid you have nine, because some teacher will come over and bitch at you until someone moves.

4. Then there's the Whale.  She gets on my last nerve's last nerve.  She makes me want to punch a baby.  God forbid I ever run into her in a nursery.  Her requirements for assignments are 1.) Write the question, and the answer in a complete sentence. 2.) Write in ink.  If you do it in pencil, it's like you never did it at all.  3.) Do not write on the backs of papers.  This also is like you never did it.  So if she assigns a chapter assessment, which is 82 questions long, plus 25 terms to write in a sentence, it will most likely take you 32 sheets of paper and 4 ink pens to do everything according to specifications.  And she staples papers together on the left side.  She says it's more "energy efficient".  Yeah, we're all used to the right side, so let's just switch it around so we take up more energy accidentally ripping the sheet the wrong way, then having to get up and staple it back.  I'm gonna put eye drops in her morning tea.

5. Now I'm not one of those people who make fun of people with disabilities.  That's wrong.  But if you have a disabled person who is downright mean to everyone, they tend to get on your nerves a little bit.

6. Every day, during 2nd period, we have coffee. 4 out of 5 days 2nd period, there is no cream for the coffee.  There's sugar...but no cream.  It's not the same.

7. 3rd Period Government, with a teacher who has got to be on drugs, and insists on reminding us every day that "We're seniors now, and we need to take some responsibility."  We're all really disrespectful to him.  But he doesn't do anything!  All he's done is given us a seating arrangement, but what he doesn't realize, is that they did that all during grade school, and then you pretty much had to be friends with the people you sat near or you'd be bored all day.

As far as Home goes,

1. There is not a sexy man waiting in my bed when I go upstairs after school.  That's my only complaint.  Oh Johnny Depp, wherefore art thou, Johnny Depp?

Love and Kisses,

Karrie